This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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