That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
