Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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