Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
