she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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