Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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