yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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