I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
