big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
