Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
