Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
