Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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