Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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