Plan B is the new Plan A
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
