I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
