Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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