Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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