it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
