I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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