Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
