shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
