dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
