wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
