dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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