thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Let's get the cat blown out
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
