Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
