i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
