I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
