I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
