Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
