wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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