It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
