id be glad to
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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