Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
