Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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