david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
