Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
