Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
