Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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