you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
