just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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