we have officially lost it.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Randomize
