just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
