This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
