JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Is her dick bigger than yours?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
