I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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