dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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