You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
