On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
