and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
This baby is an asshole
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
