If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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