Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
